I’m so excited that sometimes I find myself holding my breath. When was the last time you did something that made you so happy and excited that you hold your breath?

My life has fundamentally changed. I worked at a multinational company for 7 years. I had paid sick leave, paid leave, predictable and satisfying salary, which was on my account at the same time every month. I worked from Monday to Friday, mostly for 8 and a half hours. When I had bad days, or weeks, when I was in a snap form; when I cared about what I was doing and when I did not. Despite all of this, I felt exhausted, tired after each day. I was eager to do finally something that would make me happy. For at least two years, I wanted to escape. I have to change. I can’t do this anymore. It’s not authentic. It is not me. It makes no sense. It has no value.

For the second 3.5 years, I worked as a team leader, with 10-25 people in my team (the pandemic had a big impact). Male, female, younger, older, Hungarian, foreign, African, European… Especially in the first year of my promotion, more than once, I found myself having cramps in my stomach because of a conversation I was supposed to have ; while blowing my hair on the weekend, I was thinking about what I was going to say to the given person on Monday. It became a bit more manageable with routine but never comfortable.

I don’t know if it was a burnout that I experienced. Maybe not. I just got fed up and I felt like it was not my path anymore. I took what I could out of it and it was the time to change. One of my dear team members was passionate about hobby painting, and one day she asked if I was up to go with her the next day to a hobby painting session. Well, I decided that if the next morning there was still an available place, I would go. There was.

There are moments in life when you feel — especially when time helps to crystallize — that something important is happening. It is a moment you will remember for the rest of your life. That is how it was for me too: the first line I drew on the canvas. It was a lavender field in sunset that we painted, and started by the horizon with an orange line. I couldn’t even decide which hand to use for holding the brush.

For the first 6-8 times I kept going without selecting. I didn’t care about the topic, I didn’t care about what we painted, I just wanted to practice. Let me learn, let me paint, let me create! Then, after a few occasions, I generously invested in all the required and less required tools to be able to practice at home. As soon as I had a little time, I was constantly looking at the outer world as how and what would I paint, what would be good to paint for practice… As I think back, I bought an unnecessary amount of acrylic paint just because I had the possibility. 1-1.5 years later, I went to an acrylic painting course in another painting school. Although my insatiable desire to learn and practice has been fed, I have decided that I need to find another way to improve. Group learning is not my way. I paint with both of my hands, which is why I needed practically twice as much space at a table. It troubled me how are the others keeping up, are they better ? Am I any better? I missed how did we mix the colors to get that shadow…? External factors deprived of the fundamental euphoria of creation. I couldn’t know anything about those sitting in the same room with me and anyway it is the silliest thing to compare ourselves to the others, whatever it is about. By that time, I had a genuine desire (rather a need) to learn. I wanted to learn from someone who inspires me both personally and artistically.

It is an intimate choice for a conscious pupil. I was looking for the right teacher for a whole year. I waited for the universe to bring the person to me when I was ready for it. So it did. The lucky algorithm of social media brought me the realist oil painting course of Boglárka Nagy. For a couple of weeks, I was just looking at the commercial, what was it about, who is Boglárka.. Thanks to a Facebook event, I was able to join her to a live Q&A, which opened a new window to me. The desire of completing the course has arisen, and shortly afterwards, after a few honest stories from Boglárka, I wanted learn from her as a private student. We discussed the details in December 2020 by email and on February 14, 2021 I went to the first private session.

At Boglárka’s, we started the process at the very basics. We didn’t even grab a brush for the first 2-3 occasions, but we drew from real objects. I asked for homework, books, articles, learning materials. This was followed by the rest; one-color paintings and from concrete reference pictures.

I felt like I started to acquire the basics, the basic methodology (really just started, because the subject of each of our lessons could be mastered for years!) and I “only” needed to practice them.

In the meantime, I also got to know the artist Viktor Kiss, who I heard him talking about painting in general, his paintings, colors, shapes, concept, at a group exhibition… I knew immediately that he was going to be the next stop of my study path. At Victor’s, I got the taste of honest, essential, almost magical creative secrets, and it truly helped me to start unleashing an inner avocation.

Unfortunately (not unfortunately) for practical reasons, I had to suspend the private lessons. Continuous development has been a defining part and need of my life ever since, in addition to the “usual” creative process.

I shared all of this because I don’t want to hide how I got here. Reality and honesty are important values to me and I know that many people (everyone?) are looking for their path. I feel like after many years and (a) decade(s) of searching, I found it and dared to step on it. I have been giving an insight to those who want to follow my path with an eye on me through this process of fulfillment .

I shared all of this because I don’t want to hide how I got here. Reality and honesty are important values to me and I know that many people (everyone?) are looking for their path. I feel like after many years and (a) decade(s) of searching, I found it and dared to step on it. I have been giving an insight to those who want to follow my path with an eye on me through this process of fulfillment .